The Cast

Ace Johnson

Horn-dog video clerk who idolizes an 80s porn star. Misguided in his enthusiasm, and not the sharpest tool in the shed, he wishes life were more like a Captain Hammer film, where every woman is a lesbian looking for a threesome with a dude. When his fantasy turns into a nightmare, his darkest secret may turn out to be the one thing that can save the world.

Comics: 44
Recent Appearance: Page 56
First Appearance: Page 3

Gwen Moffett

Young lesbian still trying to find herself. Average looks and not successful with the ladies. Strongly believes that lesbians are not interested in male gonads. She will constantly try to talk sense into Ace, and she may develop an ulcer while doing it.

Comics: 35
Recent Appearance: Page 56
First Appearance: Page 6

Lesbian Zombies

They say they want your cock. But when you find out why, you'll be sorely disappointed.

Comics: 15
Recent Appearance: Page 56
First Appearance: Page 11


Ace's best friend. Normally this would be the best day of his life, since his girlfriend just agreed to have a threesome with him and some chick from craigslist. Normally.

Comics: 9
Recent Appearance: Page 23
First Appearance: Page 7

Mr. Bennell

Old dude who works at the video store.

Comics: 6
Recent Appearance: Page 54
First Appearance: Page 3

Detective Kearnes

He's big man on campus at the local PD.

Comics: 5
Recent Appearance: Page 28
First Appearance: Page 16

Space Queen

She comes from outer space, and she will turn your girlfriend into a man-eating lesbian.

Comics: 3
Recent Appearance: Page 11
First Appearance: Page 9

Dick Hagerty

He's the high school gym teacher, and he has a love for the same 80s porn as Ace. Rumors that he installed cameras in the girl's locker room remain unsubstantiated.

Comics: 2
Recent Appearance: Page 5
First Appearance: Page 4

Captain Hammer

80s porn star who combined lo-fi space opera with big-bust girl-on-girl action. If you haven't heard of him, you were probably born in the 90s. (And if you were born in the 2000s, you shouldn't be reading this.)

Comics: 1
Only Appearance: Page 2